You may be here looking for specific answers. You may have just received a diagnosis for your
child and you are in information-gathering mode. Or you may be ready to find some support to
help you navigate your parenting world.
Most of the rules and regulations that govern our society were created by neurotypicals
with the idea that everyone is very similar. Your child is unique and neurodivergent so there are
bound to be challenges.
Why don’t the parenting techniques in all the books work for my child?
Is your child having a hard time in school?
Is your child great at school but then falls apart at home?
Does your child fight you every day about his homework or chores?
Can they talk their way out of anything or argue about most topics?
Would you want your child in a relationship where they were not allowed to question the other
person’s reasoning or were to follow all the rules all the time in order to get positive feedback
from the other person?
In this type of relationship, you cannot shine or grow or even ask questions. That sounds terrible, doesn’t it? That is what school is like: follow the rules, no questioning the system, and do well on tests, then, and only then, do you get positive feedback.
The American school system was designed to create factory workers who would sit on an
assembly line doing the same thing day after day. Can you imagine your child sitting in one spot
doing the same thing every day?
Girls & ADHD
Girls and women are under diagnosed with ADHD because they don’t generally have the same
outward symptoms as wiggly boys. Your daughter may be quiet and studious but may also
struggle to complete projects or remember to turn things in. She may have a hard time forming
friendships or expressing empathy, or show signs of anxiety and/or depression.
Because girls and women often travel in packs the ADHDer in the group can be insulated from
some of the hardships ADHD can create i.e. Who’s going to ping Tiffany to remind her where
we are meeting? Tiffany is “dingy” and super smart too. “Dingy” is a polite way of
saying she forgets things, is late, doesn’t finish projects, etc. but the pack builds in safeguards
for Tiffany. This is why college can be a turning/breaking point for young women because their
steady friend group is now strewn about in different places and not there to support them.