Does everything happen for a reason?

Does everything happen for a reason?

Let’s take a minute to remember all our past challenges. The large and small, insurmountable and common, take a look at them all. What do you see? What do they all have in common?

Was it financial challenges or interpersonal or physical or emotional? They all have something in common, what do you think it is? Take a moment to consider what the common theme is for all your challenges? I’ll wait 😀

It’s you! You are what all your past challenges have in common. Kind of a trick question but I got you to stop and think right? So now that you have had a moment to review past challenges how do they compare to what you are up against at this time?

Let me guess, your current problems are far greater than past problems, right? It is a common refrain. When we are in it we can’t see the forest for the trees but once we are past it then it no longer engulfs our entire world as it once did and therefore it is reduced in significance or impact.

Some challenges, like the loss of a loved one, will be with us forever, those types of challenges cut deep. Most challenges are not as impactful as something that significant but we still get lost in the enormity of it in the moment. It is a learned skill to step back and get some perspective.

Take another moment to remember a school time experience of doing poorly on a test or having to present in front of the class. Do you remember that ache inside you? The feeling that you just wanted to curl up and hide or be sucked into the earth? Really cast your mind back to that moment or experience and feel it. It was awful, right? Now imagine you as you are now experiencing that exact same thing, how does that feel? Not nearly as bad, right? Why? Because you have insider information, you know you survived it and you know now that it has little impact on your current world because it was just a test or presentation.

That is the same thing that will happen with your stressor from right now. Time will blur them, soften the edges and create perspective you don’t have right now.

So give yourself the gift of perspective. Think about this current stressor as a past experience, will it really matter in 1 or 3 or 5 years? Generally speaking it won’t. Even something as huge as who to marry will gain perspective and knowledge about yourself and them as time goes by.

If that person turns you down and you feel your life is over, that can’t be true. No one, to date, has died from a break up or lost love. Does it hurt? Um, h*** yes it does, will it kill you? Nope.

The person who turns you down now is making room for the person you have yet to meet.

When you can adopt the idea that everything happens for a reason your stress levels will be reduced, I promise!

Don’t believe me? Let’s do an experiment: think about something amazing in your world right now. It could be your partner, great job, house, whatever you think is fantastic. Now what led to that? What had to happen to get that wonderful thing in your life? What came before that? And before that? You will eventually get to an event that was not great, not fun, or not easy, but without that awful event you wouldn’t have the wonderful person or circumstance in your life at this time.

Example

I adore my husband, he’s kind, funny, clever and rocks a pair of Levi’s like no other. I met him at my job. Before I got that job I was unemployed for several months because I left an awful job at a bank. I was broke and living off my credit card after quitting the bank. Then a friend referred me to a place to help them get organized after a big move. I started working there and within 6 months I met my husband.

Never, in a million years, would I have believed that my sucky job at the bank would lead to meeting my soulmate and creating the subsequent wonderful family that I have now. If the sucky job hadn’t happened I wouldn’t have met my husband and wouldn’t have had my wonderful kids.

What is your story?

How did you come to enjoy the wonderful person or circumstance you have now? What came before that, and before that? What not-so-great thing happened that lead to your great circumstance now?