The goal of this poem is to instruct and entertain
Easy to read, remember and stick in your brain
Enjoy wine with friends, make it a career or a hobby
I’m hoping this poem will make wine less snobby.

The first rule in wine you should never forget
If you like it, then that’s the one you should get.
Go with what you like no matter the varietal
Because if you don’t like it you won’t drink it at all.

What are acids or mouth-feel, tannins or oak
Can you get a good bottle and not go broke?
What makes the perfect bottle for you yourself
There are so many to choose from on the grocery shelf.
We’ll answer some questions and have some fun
After reading this poem to the wine shop you’ll run!

Hanging out, writing a novel, just got home from work?
Had a hard day at the office or been dealing with a jerk?
A nice glass of wine can make a great end of the day
Crisp white on the deck or a big Cabernet
I think wine will help melt all your troubles away.

The best way to train your palate, also known as your tongue.
Get several bottles to taste all together, old, and young.
Just line them all up and pop the corks
Then pour in the glass, take a sniff like a wine dork
You will see a difference between each wine
Some will smell of fruit, earth, stone or even the vine.
Then taste each one, just a little sip
Let it sit in your mouth from the back to your lip
Lots of flavors, floral, earthy or green
Your mouth won’t believe the flavors its seen.
Then pick your favorite and fill up your glass
Enjoy on the couch, the deck or in the grass.
You have just discovered a new wine, wasn’t that fun?
First step into the world of wine dorkdum.

Local wineries can help in your wine education
We suggest small wineries, you can make it a vacation
They pour in their heart, souls and even tears
This art can take oh so many years
You meet interesting people some with humor and class
And all have worked their tails off to fill up your glass.

Near some wineries? I bet you are
They are popping up all over from near to far.
Go explore, say hello, taste some new wine.
It’s fun and educational and a great use of free time.

You’ll hear stories about harvests, wine names and more.
Buy right from them, you can skip the store.
Wine tastes better knowing the stories and background
Share with your friends the treasures you’ve found.

Not all that serious, don’t need all that wine?
Then just stick to what you like I promise that’s fine.
Take wine seriously, take a class and examine every aspect
Or just enjoy with friends, either way I respect.

Judging wine by the label? It happens all the time,
That’s why there are millions spent for the perfect design
Labels can be colorful, simple, ornate
But will the wine pair well with what’s on your plate?

When wine and food come together you have heaven or hell
But who can you turn to, how can you tell?
Well let’s look at some rules and see what we find
Hopefully, this will give you some peace of mind.

White wines with fish and red wine with meats
Follow this rule and you’ll have good eats
There are reds that are delicate and can pair well with fish
And whites that are hearty and can handle a meat dish.

Confused even more now that I have scrambled the rule?
How on earth do you create a great meal and still look cool?

If it makes your mouth water you have got some good acid
Put acid with acid that’s what all the good chefs did.
Think tomatoes, or citrus with mouth-watering reds or crisp whites
Put these together and the meal turns out just right.

Often when there is spice you can do with some sweet
You don’t need a lot, “off-dry” can be pretty neat.

Off-dry? What the heck am I talking about?
It is when they don’t quite take all the sugar out.
There is a hint of sweet that cuts through the spice
Try a Riesling or Muscat they’re really quite nice.

If you like super sweet there is one simple rule
The wine has to be sweeter than the dessert that makes you drool
If not, the wine is tart and your mouth will hurt
And that simply won’t do when serving dessert.

Enjoying your summer or on the back deck
Rosés are fantastic, try a new one, what the heck?
Some think that Rosés have to be sweet
Not true, some are dry and crisp and quite a treat.
Pick up a bunch, you can get them for cheap
Taste each one then decide which to keep.

Pronouncing varietals can be tricky or bizarre
Try Semillon¹, Roussane² or Pinot Noir³
These can be tongue twisters they can even embarrass
I won’t laugh I promise, this is just between us.

Reees-ling* or Rise-ling, can’t figure it out?
The Germans will tell you it’s Reeesling*, no doubt!
Gewürztraminer⁴, wanna give it a shot?
How about Merlot, that’s easy, it’s mer-low not mer-lot

There are lots of fun varietals from common to rare
Check out your local wine shop they will all be there.
The most common are Cabernet, Merlot and Chardonnay
But there are so many others that can make your day.

Will they last in the cellar? Do we really care?
Wines are for enjoying now, so go on and share!

No matter your choice what makes wine taste best
Is sharing with friends, all wine snobs confess.
A cheap bottle of vino, food, friends and laughs
Will beat that high end wine recommended by staff.

Try a Cab Franc, Roussane or even Nebbiolo
These are joy in a glass I promise it is so.
So much wine to taste and so little time
You better get started, stop reading this rhyme!

*proper spelling Riesling
(¹semi-on, ²roos-on, ³pee-no-no“r” [rhymes with bizarre] ⁴ ga-vurst-tra-meener)